What’s yours?

Your opinion… that is.

I found myself in a conversation updating someone I confided in about my current emotional state of being.  It seems I watched the man I love walk out my door to get on a plane and fly some 20212 miles away.  I handed him a six page letter before he walked out the door.  He left because I stopped seeing him months ago.  But I didn’t stop seeing him because I don’t love him.  I stopped seeing him for the right reasons.  I’m leaving those details out for the time being.

The opinion I would like has more to do with the right now part… in particular, Facebook stalking.  I haven’t heard from him since he got home.  He texted to say he made it safe.  I texted back, “I’ve had a lot of time to think today.  I hope you find what you are looking for.  But if you don’t, if something is still missing, I hope we can talk and find some common ground.”  He said back, “I read your letter and I feel like I should write back, but not today.”  I haven’t heard from him since.

I guess I’m dragging this out, but before I could get your opinion, you needed background information.  My confidant couldn’t believe I haven’t spoken to him.  She says, “What’s he doing?  Haven’t you stalked his Facebook.”

No.  Actually, we aren’t even Facebook friends.  I don’t use Facebook very much and I’m fairly certain I have never announced a relationship or “boyfriend” through there.  Quite honestly, I feel I don’t need to see his Facebook.  He is at home, searching out whatever it is he is looking for.  I don’t see how looking at what is doing on the internet would be good for me… or him for that matter.  Either he finds what he needs and stays there, or he doesn’t and he comes back to me.  Looking at pictures and status updates of all the things he does while he’s there isn’t going to make me feel better.

On another note, she says I need a connection.  I need to be connected to him, to know what he is doing, and to be able to show him I still want him.  I’m not really sure what Facebook has to do with that.  Wouldn’t the connection be more real if I texted him?

Either way… I value opinions on two matters:

What say you regarding Facebook connections as supplements for thousands of miles between love… and “Facebook Stalking.”

Should I be giving him all the space he needs?  Or should I be contacting him?  Should I fight harder?  And if you say I need to fight for him… tell me how.  I wouldn’t even know what to do.


3 thoughts on “What’s yours?

  1. Hi there!

    I’m sorry to hear about your recent heartache. I pray that during this either temporary or permanent separation God uses your pain to reveal things to you that will help you on this journey towards self-discovery (I read your 9/13 post where you explained not being thrilled of where you are in life).

    I’ve been there, left behind with a shattered heart, not being enough “right now” for the partner who needed to walk away and figure out if, when, and who they’ll finally commit to. Social media stalking won’t make them come back, it may further your pain as you potentially are exposed to them carrying on despite your absence. Experience has shown me that you can’t convince people to love us. They either need to discover it on their own during our absence, or they never will. It seems that by your e-mail and text you have gotten the message across that you are open and available to have deeper conversation regarding the falling out should he want to. He ball is now in his court. If it fills you with peace you can pop in to check in and say hello, but again, those messages won’t resolve the matter of the heart that he’s faced with. He needs to figure it out on his own and you need to heal yourself so that if he does return you have matured during this separation and dealt with past wrongdoings, or if he chooses not to reconcile then you have already moved forward in life and didn’t waste your life “waiting” for someone to choose you.

    I would also take this time to do some self analysis. Think deeply about why you think “he’s the one,” why you may doubt if he is/is not at times, what are the mistakes you’ve made to promote where you are today, what will you do to improve your future with him or anyone else so that the lessons bring improvement, how is this separation making you feel, as time passes – have your feelings changed?

    Some people separate and reunite stronger than ever, with certainty in their love for one another. Some people separate and discover they never really were right for each-other in the first place.

    I will keep you in my prayers. May God take you to a place of healing and bring peace to your aching heart!

    Your sister in Christ,

    Liked by 1 person

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