The tree branches cling to the light of the day; showing the barely-blue-gray faded backdrop sky. The last rays of sun straggling behind; left to remind me the quantum weight of my pain was formed from ravels of 7 months drowned in selfishness. Ironically, I refrained myself from being with you in order to avoid this emotional trauma. In the most ardent oversight possible, I failed you by never acknowledging your emotions were a transparent model of my own. I applied my weathered self-confidence to you. My doubt in love was already tempered by past abuses. I never believed for a second that I could be part of your path. I would never be the choice you made. I left thinking I was preserving my already impaired emotions. I fell into a hole of darkness. As I tried to climb out, I clung like the tree branches to anything that appeared lighter than my current state of being. I became the silhouette of the tree branches in the gloaming of night. The last 7 months have been a discursive path of suggestions, ideas, and trials of things that created my barely-blue faded backdrop. Tonight the cricket chorus floods through the open window, carried by the first fall breezes of cool air. The tremendous rift I created between us is now absolute. You are listening to songs of the coqui, dancing in on a warm, salted breeze. The last fingers of light to touch your skin reached through the leaves of palm trees. I can imagine all those earthly joys seeping into the void I created between us. Before that void is filled… before the light fades… I have to build a bridge. I have to tell you I want to find a common ground. You said you don’t know where you’re going to be in 6 months. I don’t know where I’m going to be in 9. Why can’t we reach into the gloaming and build a dream together? Just build a bridge of what we have until we meet in the middle.
** I really like the concept behind today’s Wordle. I really wish I was a little less consumed by my emotions because I don’t feel like I am capable of utilizing this idea to it’s full extent. I can’t find words outside of my current state of being. **