This is Sunday again and I’ve missed the SoCS Saturday. Luckily the “S” can just mean “Sunday” on my page. I was missing him again… Feeling like if he were alive I could just make a phone call and stop feeling so lonely. I wondered why we didn’t end up together… Why we never dated. If it wasn’t for that tree, maybe we would have married years ago. But maybes aren’t the world I live in. I can’t sit at home on Friday night again. I’m too lonely to allow myself to sit at home alone tonight. I can’t identify a friend I could call who wouldn’t already have plans that don’t include me. I start to ask myself why I don’t have any invites anywhere, but I realize that’s beyond the point and wonder what you would tell me. I conclude to find a meetup event. It’s a strange night. Two different people compliment the gap in my front teeth. I can’t help but laugh. I’ve lived over 30 years and can’t say I’ve ever been complimented on that before… So twice in one night is beyond unexpected. I say thank you. By this time, you’ve exited my mind. Then the girls are b dancing on the bar and pouring shots in people’s mouths. Then I remember that place we went with our friends. They used to do that… Called them “upside down margaritas” I think. I’m not sure I knew why I was hanging out with that group. I know who was there. I know where were before and where we went after, but the only image clear in my mind is you. Suddenly I was tired and ready to go home. I put my number in the phone of the guy who asked me to dance. I doubted he’d use it, but it was a risk worth taking. Maybe practice for a guy who will use it. I don’t usually stay up so late and I can’t wait to put my head on my pillow. I know I’ve been meeting you in my dreams. It’s a blur in the daylight hours… Like it never happened. I imagine it’s a meeting in a garden near the gates that lead to Heaven. But such a thing is just a passing thought compared to the our fictional meeting. Reality is much more cruel. You are just a memory of a friend who was there when I needed him. I have to hold on to that.