She Wanted Him to Know

Prompt found here.

Image from Green Card

Image from Green Card

“I was the best thing that ever happened to you – TWICE.  Once when I fell in love with you and once when I ended it all.”

She didn’t know how much she loved him until the day he sent a text message that said, “I don’t want to do this anymore.”  She was instantly sick to her stomach.  She drowned in tears that never fell.  She pushed away friends.  In the next 6 weeks, she taught herself how to eat and how to sleep without his confirmation.  By the time he stopped ignoring her, she knew her heart would be better missing a piece than allowing it to be chipped away at one piece at a time.

Over a year later, seeing him prompted a letter:

“I was the best thing that ever happened to you – TWICE.  Once when I fell in love with you and once when I ended it all.  I loved you.  We were terrible for each other.  Instead of supporting one another, we we like poison without an antidote.  I didn’t believe the gap between us could be bridged.

I STOPPED BELIEVING.

You were my fairy tale.  I loved you, but I didn’t know how to make you feel my love.  You finally texted some things that spoke the truth.  You made me realize that no matter what I did, it would never be right.  i could never be your happily ever after.  If I couldn’t be that person, then trying to be with you was also hurting myself.

I wanted you to know I believed I was right for you.  I held on because I loved you.  I heard people say, ‘I wish someone would look at me the way you look at him.’  We were once able to make people jealous just by looking at each other.

I wanted you to know I let go because I love you.  I think I hurt you more by trying to be with you than I did when I just stopped it all.  But it hurt me, too.  I lost my best friend.  I lost the man I loved.  Now I pray for you to find peach and happiness.  Sometimes I hope I can find a man to love me the way you did when you tried.

I think I could attempt to explain myself forever so I’m stopping here.  I NEED YOU TO KNOW I never tried to hurt you and I need you to know I still believe breaking us up was the best thing I could have done for you.”

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