Past Musings

By inspiration from a wonderful young lady, I have dug into my file cabinet and found some things I wrote in the past.  They are mostly from college.  A few may be from high school.  But they are handwritten and without date, so I will never know for sure.  

It’s just another day

another breath

another place

Turning backward in the rain

falling freely into space

laughing       tumbling

twisting       turning

rolling into you

As I fall out of love with you,

Your taste lingers on my lips.

Like juice from a pineapple

-sweet and tangy-

I crave your touch as a cool ocean breeze

on a hot, humid day

The satisfaction is now,

not the same

wrapped in your arms while standing in the snow

kissing you

There’s no question of my love

Not detached and hopeless

will never be the same

Wednesday Again

The alarm sounds at quarter to five.

I realize it’s Wednesday again

and brush the sleep from my eyes.

It’s the only day I notice anymore

as I shower, dress, and walk out the door.

I’d watch for love to pass by on the street,

but it’s five-thirty in the morning;

even the sun isn’t on his feet.

It don’t matter anyway.

It’s probably already passed me by.

As I get to wondering why,

I drive right past the highway interchange.

I shake my head and scold myself

“Isn’t it strange?”  I think.

“I drive straight as if heading to his home.”

For a moment, I wish I was, but I know

it’s Wednesday again.

I must get to work by six.

Going to his house certainly won’t fix this.

I blink the sadness from my eyes,

hurry through my day, with a smile on display

and wish I’d gotten to sleep past quarter to five

The sun is shining in my eyes.  I can’t look away – mesmerized by my lack of feeling.  Yesterday I was fighting tears; building rows of sandbags to stop my fears from taking over.

Before I could ask her not to say anything, the words were exploding from her mouth like a pyroclastic cloud bursting forth from a once dormant volcano.  As the lava spewed from her mouth, questions raced through my mind.

Then.  It was over.  I had answers.  I felt nothing.  I searched for relief.  I searched for joy.  There is emptiness where I once felt fear.

Nothing changed.


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